26th January 2014.

So when was the last time I updated this blog of mine? I don't think people still uses blog nowadays due to upcoming number of social networks like facebook, instasgram etc. Well, let's just say, this blog is only for myself and I to read. This blog meant a lot to me during my early teenage years. I let go of my anger here. The rivalry to make my blog sound more interesting was why I read books.

Things has changed a lot. My life, I mean my working life was not what I expected it would be like when I was younger. I didn't expect myself to be a police officer. Well, I'm not really am. I'm an auxiliary police officer and from what I know, the police officers I work with, some are immature. Do remember and mean what you guys pledged, alright? That's to them. Work wise, It's been non-stop 24 hours shift. I don't look my age anymore. I look like a zombie, I get cranky easily and I've made enemies. And I thought all these only happens in the movies but they do happen in reality too. People will sabotage you, people will break you down, gossip the worst things about you, and will do anything just to see you drop to the ground but with all this, I grew to handle things. Though it might sound rude or whatsoever, I think people like them deserve the treatments. Talk to the hand, people.

For family, nothing seems to be going the right way. To be specific, everyone is going to different paths. There's no more bonding. I rarely see my sisters or brother. I miss the times we used to talk and talk to my baby sister. She's all grown up now and I still can't accept the fact that she's going to turn 17 years old this year. Please don't grow up so fast. I love you and I miss you so much. My mother still has 4 years to go and I'm waiting for her return. May Allah fasten the time so we can meet again. I know I sound different from the past when it comes to me and my mother. When she was in, I think she learnt a lesson. She wrote letters telling how regretful she is for not spending time with us. I find it's okay and i know that there will always be a time for someone to learn their mistakes and that everyone deserves a chance. like they say, every saint has a future and every priest has a past. not to forget, it's going to be 3 years since he left us. I miss you. I love you and I'm sorry. I know I've turn bad and worst now. I know.. If you're still here, you will definitely be disappointed with the way I am right now. With what I've done and all the sins I've did. I love you. I hope we can meet again one day although we don't really have blood ties between us.

So I met a guy. We were friends. We complain and talk and initially fell for each other's comfort. I grew to love him, really I did. I didn't imagine i would be with a new guy after my 5 years my relationship with Haqim. truthfully, it did sound too soon for me to be in a new relationship but i did fell for this one. His smile, his bitty eyes, his fair skin, his self-cut hair. Oh my, just describing about him, I feel like I'm falling in love over and over again. I love him and i never imagine myself to be with someone who has tattoos. I mean, I fancy those but i just don't like the idea of a Muslim to have one then again. It's all up to him and Allah. However, he's such a nice and simple guy. Notorious at times, cheeky when he can be and always play the best friend role which i think why i feel so comfortable with him. I love you, Priba.

I know it sound too late for me to write things to reflect on. I might be blogging more, i think? I miss blogging. I don't care if no one reads it because one day i do need to read and remember the things I've did and how foolish i handled my problems or stupid my days went. I mean, those dumb and pointless things was what made who I am today. Really need to get my uniform done now because another 24 hours shift awaits me.

P.S someone made me had migraine and i made him 5 dish to be exact but he's nowhere to be seen from 3pm. thank you so much, baba.